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Thanksgiving Haikus

humor

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115

Fordham University

current

- satire

Thanksgiving Haikus

For relaxation and reflection during the holiday season

Jennifer Clark

11.23.17

Read time: 2 minutes.

"Ya know what I think"
Says your racist Uncle John
“Oh no” you whisper




Sweaty pits, damp palms
Panicked heartbeat, empty brain
“What’s your post-grad plan?”


“Forty million”
“That’s how many birds will die”
Shut up, cousin Jill



Niece won science fair
Cousin founded a company
Your socks don’t even match


3 glasses of wine
2 martinis, extra dry
Mom’s off the wagon



“You got a boyfriend?”
Asks Aunt Carol. You retort,
“How’s your divorce going?”


Left, right, left, right, left
Chinstrap? Swipe right. Threesome? Right.
Hometown tinder’s a crapshoot


In the store I crouch
Hiding from former classmates
‘tween tampons and snacks



Yo fuck Thanksgiving
A country built on murder
I’mma still eat tho